Poetry Re-writes

I’ve been working on a couple of poems to get ready for a reading and because I am collaborating with other artists on their projects. I’ve gone through some of my earlier poems and have re-worked them and I’ll be posting the re-writes for the next few posts. You can read the original here.

Remain Seated

Please, Remain seated.
Do not raise up your arms

Do not lift the bar.
The warning signs
Are bright, red, white,
old, old, and old.

The ride
Is about
To begin:

I’ll tell you a story
A boardwalk tale
The Great Dipper,
The oldest roller coaster
(On the West coast)
White planks of wood
Arched lattice

The kind used in June Weddings.

The time: the forties.
There was a sailor and his girl.
They rode that Great coaster.
It roared like a 1908 earthquake,
Spitting like a Chinese dragon
Crimson train shuddering the white tracks.

To impress his girl,
To show how brave,
To prove,
To give,
To love,
So she would know, 

Just how far he was willing to go,
He stood up.
Arms high, exuberant, free, and
He surrendered.

The train dropped,
Dipped and turned
(Like they do)

Under a lattice arch and

His head popped,
Like a bottle of cheap champagne

On a hot day, and
Soared into the air, like
A bride’s bouquets
Of coordinated flowers,
His smile still pressed to his face,
And landed in the lap of a lady
Sitting in the last car
(the head always lands in the

Laps’ of ladies in the last car).

Oh how I feel when loving you

Like this Great Dipper rattling. 

The entire world shaking.
Put your arms down
There will always be some
Fool that wants to impress.
Love is blind
Unable to read
The red, white, old, old and old signs.
You’d think by now
They’d write the warnings in Braille. 

Let’s keep our heads.

Of course, I can’t help
But feel bad for the
in the last seat
All alone,
And covered in a mess.


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