The First Time

In the high school bathroom,
my best friend,
told me about loosing her virginity.

They had sex over the summer break.
He was 17 she was 14.
It was beautiful,
supposedly.
He set up candles.

Really,
I could have cared less
about sex.
I still wasn’t interested
in the whole nightmare.

I was just upset
she waited
a whole year
to tell me about it.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”
I asked.

I watched her
apply her dark
purple lipstick.

“I didn’t think you could
handle it.”
She said, licking her lips.

“What do you mean?”
My pride felt
a little in danger.
I think my voice cracked.

“Well, you know, it’s like,
okay, you know how you are,
you’re just, how do I put this
without hurting your feelings.”

“Just say it.”
I said.

“Well, it’s like,
you’re innocent, and you
just don’t understand
these womanly things.”

She turned back to the mirror
to finish her make-up.

I glared at her.
I bet she really enjoyed telling me that.
I never really liked her.

But,
that was a lie,
just like my lack of
interest in sex.

This is a Repost

I am collaborating with this artist Jen Smith. She is creating three drawings based on my Let my girl out poem. The title was 1973, and I had posted it a few months ago, but I am reposting it with one of Jen’s drawings.


I let my girl out-
She rose like a lion
From behind a great rock-
Mad as hell
At the adult in me.

She pulled down her knickers,
“I ain’t afraid of no snakes.”
Made ribbons in her hair
Of grass and flowers.
Tore her Gingham dress,
Fine shreds of printed fabric
Dropping from her shoulders,
Like water on a ducks back,
Till she was thin bare.

Naked she climbed
The blue oak
and swung out from sturdy
branches
Yipping and yeehawing
Till she plopped into the
Lake.

Climbing out
Of green mud,
Tendrils of clumped
flowers and grass,
mashed dreaded locks,
like a rasta child.
Her teeth glared white
Laughing,
Belly flop,
Into the dark
Pool of water.

She was an animal.
A Beast-
To the very core,

And I wept
For forgetting her.